So...

Reading Mr. MD's comment to my "Male Insight Required" post, I picked out a couple things:

1) Guys don't want to take responsibility for things they don't have to take responsibility for. Why recognize the elephant in the corner if it is not specifically pointed out. Is that correct?

I've had discussions where it was determined that a guy didn't want to have that talk regarding making a relationship "official." According to the guy, if he was there with the girl and he was acting as if they were in an exclusive relationship, they were together...why did he have to consent to an "official" thing? Of course, that puts the girl in a weird sorta lose-lose situation. The guy wants her to somehow know that they are together so as to avoid the whole "talk." Yet if the girl assumes they are in a relationship and months down the road the guy wants out, he is permitted the "well, we never talked about it, so therefore you can't claim that I was a dog" argument.

2) "[Man's] lifelong pursuit of simplified interactions and nurturing of emotional laziness has stunted our ability to read between the lines. Our willful ignorance breeds a vicious little cycle."

Hmmm...guys, guys, guys...don't be so hard on yourself... but, if you insist.....

3) We should accept that guys and girls communicate in different ways.

I agree. I, however, am still treading that fine line of what to expect. "Expecting" is a verb that, if done either too much or too little, could be dangerous. If we expect too much of everyone, we're constantly let down. If we don't expect enough, we are often cynical, and we wear ourselves out by feeling as if we need to then compensate.

And, of course, its a case by case thing. What I've "expected" of other men I've dated differed tremendously from one to the other. And this one has differed quite a bit more than the others.

Okay, guys, I'll take your advice. I'll try to communicate in guy-language more often. But... could I someday expect him to do the same...every once in a while, too?

If it happens, it happens...for not I'll do what I can do on my side. I'll let you know if its smooth sailing from now on. :)

Happy Birthday, Kristin!!!

Today is Kristin's birthday!!! Happy Birthday Kristin! So, for the momentous turning-of-the-1/4-century birthday, we treated the birthday girl to the traditional 25th birthday party: Go Karts and Za-Bistro!

Only half of us were able to make it to the pre-dinner activity, the go karts. Kristin, Roger, Kevin, Eliasib and I show up at "Lil 500" go karts. There are three tiny tracks that span the area of 1/2 a football field. The biggest track designated for the "little ones." So we turn our eyes to the other two. The first track's claim to fame? A little hill. The second track, well, we'll get to that.

Roger snaps the pictures while Kevin, Kristin, Eli and I climb into our karts. We have the track to ourselves. Eli is the first out the gate followed by me, Kristin, then Kevin. With only a couple whip-lashes and a few choice words, we emerged in four pieces (among the four of us, of course).

On to track 2. Roger waits this one out, so its the four of us again...this track is tiny, but we thoroughly were impressed. See, they had put faster engines in the karts and did something to the two turns so we could actually make the turns in a manner that delighted the speed demons of the bunch. Let's just say it got a bit more competitive with the sign "Do not bump the karts" NOT being heeded and the requirement of the "pit crew" to come dislodge most of us at least once. Roger joined in the second round, while I took pictures...boy I'm glad I ducked out that last round...Kristin held her own and was given a victory lap with the checkered flag.

The rest of the bunch came out afterwards for dinner, and we then all ended up at Annette and Amy's for cake and Tim Tams (for the Tim Tam Slam, of course). I didn't think to take a picture of a 'slam' until we were all sugared up. Another time.

Here are a couple pictures! Happy Birthday, Kristin!!!!!



Birthday girl gets a victory lap!!!

Posted by Val

Testing, does this post from an email work?

Kevin & Kristin - all smiles before the competition begins.

Posted by Val

Kristin blocking me in, pit crew had to come out to get us out of the jam.

Posted by Val

Sour Milk

While at Amy and Annette's, we were rummaging around for milk for the hot chocolate for the Tim Tams. Amy pulls out milk and goes, "hmmm...i haven't opened up this milk yet. Think its any good still? The date was July 1, 2005."

Sour milk...nasty. Of course, I have to admit that it didn't come close to Jeff and Jim's third roommate - thier sour milk which they actually 'celebrated' its 1-year birthday.

anyways, being the boys that they are, Kevin, Eli and Sean had to open the milk and take a whiff. I personally did not take part in the milk festivities.

*ick*

July 1, 2005 (28 days past)

Posted by Val

Sour Milk for Kevin

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Cake for Kristin

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Tim Tams

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Comments 2

Okay, as an addition to my last post, I promise to be better at noticing new comments. I was going through previous posts, and I saw a comment I didn't notice for, like, a month.

I'm thinking this is what happened:

You know when you get bored, you start googling friend's names? Well, a Valerie Villar from San Antonio had found my blog and posted a note wanting to know if we were related.

Val, I don't believe I have any relatives in San Antonio, but I'll ask my dad. Thanks for popping on to my site! Hope you visit again. :)

I'll be better, I promise.

Comments

Okay, I need to figure out if there's a way on this site to put up snippits of people's comments so others know to look for them. I've been pretty delinquent on my posting due to other things, but you guys out there have been posting some really good comments. And, Merv and Case, don't worry about the length. I'm always up for spending some time with my friends' rants. :)

And some mighty good ones they are, too!

Anyways, no time to write much, but in the mean time, visitors, please feel free to browse the comments to my posts. They're fabulous - definitely worth the read. :)

This was taken two or so weeks ago...but I saw it on my camara card and thought I'd post it. It's me and my green bandage that I scored after I donated blood. I'm a regular donor...remember! The life that you save may be your own!"

Posted by Val

Day Off

This morning I woke up, but barely. My mind was so warped, my body so tired, I just could not get up. So I called in and told my boss that I wouldn't be able to make it in.

I have never done that before. I have always held to my responsibilities, but I couldn't do it anymore! My body was rebelling, I couldn't concentrate on things... could it be that I was actually working myself to death?

I'm freakin' 27! What is the rest of my life going to be? I like my job, I love the people I work with... but something is going to have to be done differently in the future. My outlook, my job, something.

I haven't been this relaxed in a loooooooooooooooong time. I plan on sleeping, reading, and relaxing today. I'll let you know how it goes. :)

What is like out there?

Its weird because I'm reading my blog like its someone else's blog...I read, perhaps post a comment, than leave...

I haven't had a free minute for what feels like forever...really. I have practically been living at work...preferring to work in the office than at home on the weekends.

There is so much more life out there to live.

As a sidebar to the below conversations on relationships that I want to continue...could someone please tell me what I'm missing out on out there? You know...in the world of the living?

(i did have some fun this weekend, congratulations to Sean for his baptism and birthday)

You guys are so cool...

I love that the most responses I have ever gotten on a post is regarding gum...:)

By the way, as a result of this post, I know I will never remain gumless, and some soul searching was done.

Mandy was right in her questions about whether this has to do with other things. Yes, it does, and perhaps someday I'll tell you all about it. :)

In the mean time, the debate on how to view and treat members of the opposite sex rages on. Its established that no one (not just guys) are mind readers.

.....but you know...it sooo depends on the person. I mean, sometimes I look around and wonder why I'm either not dating or the relationship isn't as good as I think it should be and wonder if it was me!

this may sound bad, but the other day i was wedding dress shopping (stop freaking out, it wasn't for me but with my newly engaged friend Kristin), and at David's Bridal, the oddest looking girl was in line to be catered to by the DB staff...she was about to be married, and, to be honest, she looked like the poster child for Extreme Makeover. Now, i'm sure she was a very nice girl, but seriously, i couldn't get over the fact that she was getting married, and i wasn't!

i know, i'm a terrible person, but when you look around and it seems as if everyone's life is, well, better than yours, you start wondering what's up!?!?!?!

then, i consoled myself with the thought that her man was possibly *ick*, so I got over it. :)

On a side note, have I mentioned that I'm going to be spending a week in Hawaii next month??? I haven't looked forward to something in such a long time...its an awesome feeling. :)

tGiT!!!!!

Male insight requested

The comment was made in response to my previous post that men cannot be expected to read minds. A fact that I have whole-heartedly come to believe after dating men such as my current.

But let me ask you this, a man doesn't want a bossy or spoiled woman, does he?

There's a difference with conveying to a man your likes and dislikes, your tendencies and such... but when does a man start thinking for himself? Should a woman always have to encounter a situation as if it was the first of its kind that the couple has come upon?

Where's the line drawn, people???

Just wondering...

You have some smokes???

Okay, as a disclaimer, I wrote this before my last post, but after writing it, I figured, well, I might be the one that was expecting too much, so I posted the questions. But after reading everyone's comments on the below question, I figured I wasn't so way off, maybe just a little...so i figured I'd post this anyways since I wrote it and all.

I also wrote this post in dismay, not anger...

*****

So, this weekend, I realized...the little things really do count! You know how in the movie "The Wedding Singer" with Adam Sandler, his and Drew Barrymore's character used the "little thing" of letting them sit in the window seat as a sign of the person's character and how much they really loved them...

Well, this weekend, I caught my manfriend doing something that I just couldn't believe. He was... he was... *sigh* C-H-E-W-I-N-G G-U-M. That in and of itself isn't bad at all...but here's the thing folks...

I WASN'T!

You see...he had gum and he didn't offer me any.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, people, but if you have gum or mints, and you go for one, the only polite thing to do is offer some to the people around you. Right?????

If you don't know the people around you, and you don't have that many, fine. Slip a piece. But if you only have one piece, and you're with a close friend, haven't you found yourself saying, "well, i don't have another one, but you wanna split?"

you know what i mean, people, and if you don't, daaaaannnnnggg.... give a little!

So, when I found my m-friend chewing a piece and i wasn't...i was almost offended...i mean, come one! he then offered me a piece, and honest to goodness, i felt bad because it looked like he was given his piece, and I had totally given him grief about nothing. but, to my dismay, i found him again, today, chewing. and the truth came out...he had a whole freaking pack in his pocket!

his excuse??? I should've asked. we've been dating for some time now, it should be known that whatever he has, i could have some, too. but if i didn't know the option existed, how could i request a piece, i ask you?????

its like, do i go around asking my friends, "You got some smokes? You know, cigarettes???" or, "hey, you have a chainsaw on you???"

okay, a little exaggerated, but you get the idea.....

sheesh...it really is the little things that count. oh, and i now know to ask for anything i wish for at the moment and assume it resides in his pockets...unless told otherwise.

I know, I'm a total brat. :)

The polite thing to do...

People, please tell me...

if you have the mints or gum, and, after a meal with friends, you go for a piece, should you, offer some to those at the table???

Is it an accepted polite thing??? or would you be considered a little rude if you didn't? yeah, its one thing if you don't know the people well, or if you have, like, two pieces left...but in general...

what say you?

Another year, another picture

I was reading back through some of my previous blogs, and I saw the blog I posted on April 15 entitled "Change." It was about a family that posts pictures of all the members of the family each year on June 17 since 1976. Click here to see their 2005 pictures.

Diversity in practice not concept

So my friend who works in the HR department of a company had the below picture of our friends and me on her computer as her wallpaper. She was having a meeting with a collegue, and my friend points out our friend Kristin in the picture and tells her coworker that she just got engaged (see below post).




Her friend looks at the picture than looks at my friend and says, "Oh, you know those people?" To which my friend replies (a little confused...) yes.

Her coworker then says, "Oh, I just thought that was a picture showing diversity !" (or something along those lines)

My friends was like, "no, those are my current friends." She thought it was funny, and I had a good laugh when she told me.

There must be something in the water...I'm surrounded!!!!! But Happy. :)

BEST WISHES, Kristin!!!!!

Congratulations, Isaac!!!!!

These two lovebirds just got engaged amidst the 4th of July fireworks. Unfortunately, since I've only met Isaac once, and I hear he's not of the smiling-in-pictures species of 'man,' this is the best picture I have, Kristin...send me another one!!!!!

Posted by Val

Pictures from my cousin's wedding

This isn't a clear picture, but my cousin put up a picture of (in order) me, my brother, my sister, and him during the wedding. I had to take a picture of the picture. This is us more than 20 years ago posing in front of the Christmas scene at the mall. I'm the only one either not married or engaged. My how time has changed us.

(By the way, I loved that whole pink jacket paired with the green/yellow/red shirt thing my mother (or father) thought fashionable...)

Posted by Val

Single boys lining up for the garter toss... my money was on my cousin Tristin in the middle. His calm demeaner was only a mask for the aggressive garter-snatcher that he was...but alas, it wasn't meant to be this time around.

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Next wedding! March 19, 2005 - my brother Jun-Jun & Angela.

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My cousin Faith & I being forced to join in with all the other single girls in the bouquet toss...two girls never tried harder NOT to catch the thing.

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Cuz & my new cuz-ette...congratulations on the marriage...Looks like waiting nine years was worth it!

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Statistics from the Pulpit

Imagine my surprise when I get up Sabbath morning and go to church only to be faced with an unexpected surprise...Dr. George Hilton is now my home church's interim pastor! If his name rings a bell, he teaches at PUC in the Math department. I personally took Statistics and Statistical Methods from him. He's a very interesting person & pastor.

Just a surprise.

Ah, I miss my filipino friends!

Ah, yeah, Filipino Pride!!!

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Casey & Rhyan

Casey, Rhyan and I grew up together. Now, we span three states...it was nice to hang out last night, guys!!!!!

Casey & Rhyan

Posted by Val

Bongo-ing

Yesterday, after church and a gargantuan lunch, a bunch of us wanted to spend time together. As kids, we'd stay in Saturday night and rent movies and play games. Last night, we played games, went out for Zachary's Pizza in Berkeley, then came home and played more.

Now, the source for once again keeping my east coast timed body up way too late were the bongos. My brother owns the GameCube, and one of the games he has taken to require bongos. I forget the name of the game, but its something like this Donkey Konga. You have to follow what your line says whether it asks you to hit the left side or right side of the bongo or clap or yell. At first, we were all skeptical, but after starting out, we couldn't stop. It was the most fun I've had in a long time. I think we'll be bongo-ing after the wedding tonight. :)

More Bongos

Posted by Val

Bongos

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Mi Familia

I'm home! For a couple days anyways. My cousin and his girlfriend/fiance are finally getting married this Sunday. I say "finally" since they have been dating since they were about 17... that makes their relationship about 8-9 years long. Ila has long since been considered part of our family.

Anyhow, I was just sitting back and experiencing my family. My sister and brother live close to my parents, and although many people want to be far from their parents, I am quite jealous of my siblings. My parents give us a lot of space, which makes it so much easier to actually hang out with them.

Tomorrow, I'm meeting my future sister-in-law's family. They're coming over for Sabbath lunch..."My Big Fat Greek Family" and "Meet the Parents" all in one. No, it'll be fine. Below is a picture of my family starting in on the cooking for tomorrow's lunch. I'm exhausted, having traveled for the better part of the day just to get here only to be dragged shopping at Trader's Joe and Ranch 99 an asian ... world.

Believe me, people, when I start feeling out of place amidst a sea of asians, I know I've been away from California too long.

So, although I'm minutes away from passing out from tiredness, I'm quite content to sit here in the family room and watch my siblings and parents discuss my parents' need for a zester. Its good to be home. :)

Family

Posted by Val