R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I've been reading this book "for women only" by Shaunti Feldhahn that my friend Kelli lent me.

I have only read the first chapter and am into reading the second chapter, and so far...so fabulous! The book is written for women who want to understand men.

Since I have only read the first chapter, I'll only write on the first chapter, "YOUR LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH - Why Your Respect Means More to Him than Even Your Affection"

The big thing I learned from this chapter is this: three out of four men would rather feel alone and unloved than inadequate and disrespected...in other words, men equated the words "unloved" and "disrespected" because "if a man feels disrespected, he is going to feel unloved."

Wow.

I don't know about you, but I didn't realize that! The way women feel about wanting and experiencing love, men feel the same about respect.

The other thing that was a different concept to me when I read it was that, much as a woman wants to be loved unconditionally, even when we're not particularly lovable...a man wants to be respected unconditionally, in all situations. It was stated that in our culture, we have been taught that love should be unconditional, however...respect should be earned.

Unconditional respect? that's interesting. Can you love a man and not respect him? I suppose my man doesn't find me or my actions lovable 100% of the time, yet he loves me.

...hmmm...

In the end, just as a women needs to be shown her man's love, a woman has to also show her man that she respects him. These are the ways the book suggests you show your man that you respect him:

1. Respect his judgement. Don't question or argue with his decisions all the time. That doesn't men we need to be "Yes-women," but still...

2. Respect his abilities. By women trying to help them all the time, men interpret it as distrust.

3. Respect in communication. Men hear the disrespect, they hear disappointment, they hear the attack. Sometimes, we just need to soften our approach.

4. Respect in public. Showing disrespect in public especially around other men is torture for men.

5. Respect in our assumptions. We assume he needs to be reminded, we assume he's not choosing to help...that's not always the case!

The chapter ended with this statement from a man:

"You know that saying, 'Behind every good man is a great women?' Well, that is so true. If a man's wife is supportive and believes in him, he can conquer the world - or at least his little corner of it. He will do better at work, at home, everywhere. By contrast, very few men can do well at work or at home if their wives make them feel inadequate."

It's the same with us women! How great is it to feel the support of your man, or your friends or family behind you?

Reading this chapter was eye opening. How true is it, guys? Girls...what do you think?

All I know is that this week, I tried to put some of what I read to practice, and I must say, I think the book could be on track! It made me feel good to encourage my man, tell him that I was proud of him and what he's accomplished lately. I think he appreciated it...and that also makes me happy.

I'll keep you posted on what the upcoming chapters contain.

The story...

I've been engaged a week! It's been a fun and absolutely exhausting week because of work and home projects, but now that I have a couple minutes at the airport (yes, I'm engaged for a week and already getting away from my fiance), I thought I'd at least start in on the story.

My recommendation to any guy, or girl, who is planning on proposing is this: make your story short and sweet because trust me, you'll be asked many, many, many times to relate the story. As much as you'll love your story, you'll start getting tired of hearing your voice telling it! But for you folks...I give story. =)

Last Thursday, for the project that I'm working on at work, I had to get up early and drive an hour out to a hospital where, I had told someone there, I was having an especially annoying day. I had had a long night the night before, I had to wake up early, then the boyfriend and I got into a little tiff...all before 8am. Could you believe that? Needless to say, I wasn't in the greatest of moods. The people I was working with weren't as helpful as they had been in the past, and I was so exhausted, the idea of vege-ing out after the hour drive back home was sounding quite appealing.

The boyfriend gets off work early on Thursday and has Fridays off, therefore, he was proposing that go out. Insisting, was more like it, actually. To the girl who was anticipating a long day and who had to go to work the next day, well, his idea of the evening didn't sound anything close to the vege-ing out at home that I was wanting to do, but then again...I didn't have any more fight in me...so I went along. As long as he was driving. =)

When I get home, we get back in the car and start out on a drive. We talk, I relax...the evening is starting out good! I find that we are all of a sudden at Disney's Swan & Dolphin hotel. We had hung out at the Swan & Dolphin on our first date!

We walked around looking for a restaurant, and not finding anything, we walked over to Disney's Boardwalk Resort, another place we visited on our first date. We had gone to the Boardwalk Resort, but try as we might, we couldn't find a nice romantic restaurant. Everywhere we went on Disney property was teeming with families! Small children running, screaming and parents trying to control these kids. Not the most desireable environment to propose, I find out later from the boyfriend.

After dinner, we drive over to downtown disney. We walk around and pop over to Ghirardelli. I see Eli examining a box of chocolate, but I tell him I only want my favorite Ghirardelli chocolate. So I convince him he doesn't have to buy the box of chocolates. This is my favorite Ghirardelli chocolate:


Later I found out that he was planning on buying me the box of chocolates and putting the ring box inside so that when I opened it, I'd find a nice little ring inside! Moral of the story, girls, don't EVER dissuade a guy from buying you a box of chocolate. Capiche? =)

After we left Ghirardelli, we walked around, ducked into the Lego store and several other disney stores. At one of the Disney stores, Eliasib (who I find out later is still trying to figure out how to work the proposal into our evening) spies some music boxes...belonging to the disney princess collection. We listen to a couple of them and decide that beauty & the beast had the best song. He absolutely insisted on buying the music box...


and the matching beauty and the beast ring. Here's the spinning beauty inside the box:

After walking around downtown disney for a while just browsing, all the stores start closing...and I figure it's time to go home. Instead, the bf suggests we just drive around. At this point, yours truly is pretty tired, but hey...as long as I can just sit there...I'm up for a drive!

We drive around...and around. Now, I must admit that my bf has an excellent sense of direction and knows his way around Orlando...so I'm trying to figure out why the heck he appears...lost! Later, I found out that he was looking for a hotel he had heard was voted one of the best hotels to propose. Unfortunatley, he could not find it.

So...we keep driving and end up at Celebration, FL, a little cute disney neighborhood. We drive around looking at all the pretty houses and just talk. At this point, it's...I dunno...close to midnight, and we decide to stop at the neighborhood's little downtown waterfront and get out of the car and sit in the rocking chairs. And...it is the very first time the whole entire evening that we find ourselves alone!

I found out later that if he didn't find a nice environment to propose, he was just going to give up for the evening. I'm so glad we ended up at Celebration. =)

So there I am just rocking on the rocking chairs with the bf, listening to my little beauty and the beast music box, and the boy all of a sudden gets down on one knee in front of me under the light of only a couple street lamps across the street.

Now, he is always whining about his bad knees (that's how he gets me to paint the floorboard areas in the rooms we're painting), so I find it quite amusing watching him down there in front of my rocking chair.

He slowly takes my hand and slips on...the... beauty and the beast plastic, furry ring.



I start laughing because the thing's made for, like, a six year old girl and only slides up to my finger's knuckle. I continue to laugh at the situation and tell him between giggles that I abolutely love the ring. Then he tells me to close my eyes. I'm still laughing when I feel him slide off my plastic ring and slide on something that actually...fits...and feels...real!

I open my eyes and see my ring. Which, by the way, girls, still has a nice sparkle...even from the modest street lamps across the street. =)

I throw myself into his arms, and we both laugh and hug. I wasn't one of those teary eyed girls during the proposal...which, I then realize...hey! He hadn't actually proposed!!! I mention my observation to him, and he proceeds with his,

"Oh! Right!!! Will you marry me?

To which I say yes.

And that, my friends, is the story. Not the perfect proposal he had planned, he says, but in the end, he was happy, I was ecstatic...and we got engaged!

Here's a picture we took on our very first date. He looks a little startled...but I think I look cute. =) and happy.

Who knew almost four years later, we'd be where we are.

He asked...

... and I said...

Yes!!!!!

So...here's the thing...

I've been sooo busy both at home and at work. Work has had me training new staff people and driving all over the place.

At home, I've been helping the manfriend paint my bedroom and my roommate's bedroom. I'll definitely post a picture of my bedroom once my new bedroom set is ALL in. The whole furniture ordeal has been quite a mess. Although I love my bedroom set, the service hasn't been what you could call up to par.

Anyways, I'm posting this to just let all you out there know that I'm meaning to be more faithful in posting on my blog.

Hopefully after tomorrow, things will settle down a bit...at least I hope so...one can't live life like this!!!!!