R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I've been reading this book "for women only" by Shaunti Feldhahn that my friend Kelli lent me.

I have only read the first chapter and am into reading the second chapter, and so far...so fabulous! The book is written for women who want to understand men.

Since I have only read the first chapter, I'll only write on the first chapter, "YOUR LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH - Why Your Respect Means More to Him than Even Your Affection"

The big thing I learned from this chapter is this: three out of four men would rather feel alone and unloved than inadequate and disrespected...in other words, men equated the words "unloved" and "disrespected" because "if a man feels disrespected, he is going to feel unloved."

Wow.

I don't know about you, but I didn't realize that! The way women feel about wanting and experiencing love, men feel the same about respect.

The other thing that was a different concept to me when I read it was that, much as a woman wants to be loved unconditionally, even when we're not particularly lovable...a man wants to be respected unconditionally, in all situations. It was stated that in our culture, we have been taught that love should be unconditional, however...respect should be earned.

Unconditional respect? that's interesting. Can you love a man and not respect him? I suppose my man doesn't find me or my actions lovable 100% of the time, yet he loves me.

...hmmm...

In the end, just as a women needs to be shown her man's love, a woman has to also show her man that she respects him. These are the ways the book suggests you show your man that you respect him:

1. Respect his judgement. Don't question or argue with his decisions all the time. That doesn't men we need to be "Yes-women," but still...

2. Respect his abilities. By women trying to help them all the time, men interpret it as distrust.

3. Respect in communication. Men hear the disrespect, they hear disappointment, they hear the attack. Sometimes, we just need to soften our approach.

4. Respect in public. Showing disrespect in public especially around other men is torture for men.

5. Respect in our assumptions. We assume he needs to be reminded, we assume he's not choosing to help...that's not always the case!

The chapter ended with this statement from a man:

"You know that saying, 'Behind every good man is a great women?' Well, that is so true. If a man's wife is supportive and believes in him, he can conquer the world - or at least his little corner of it. He will do better at work, at home, everywhere. By contrast, very few men can do well at work or at home if their wives make them feel inadequate."

It's the same with us women! How great is it to feel the support of your man, or your friends or family behind you?

Reading this chapter was eye opening. How true is it, guys? Girls...what do you think?

All I know is that this week, I tried to put some of what I read to practice, and I must say, I think the book could be on track! It made me feel good to encourage my man, tell him that I was proud of him and what he's accomplished lately. I think he appreciated it...and that also makes me happy.

I'll keep you posted on what the upcoming chapters contain.